The Effect of Different Translations

First impressions are always very important, especially in books.  The first line of a story sets the mood and tone for the rest of the novel.  The first line has to be interesting enough to make the reader want to read the rest of the story.  The way the line is structured is very significant, like when it is translated in The Stranger and Metamorphosis.  The different translations of the first line in Metamorphosis impact how the reader understands the meaning of the sentence.

1: As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

       Name at the beginning

            Use of the word insect, uneasy, and gigantic

             Periodic structure

2: Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

          Name at the beginning

          Use of the words bug, changed, giant

             Simple

3: When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

          Complex

          Use of the words troubled, transformed, enormous

       Periodic

4: One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

      Many commas

      Use of the words monstrous vermin, agitated, and transformed

      Complex

      In these four different translations, the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery all affect the meaning of the sentence.  They’re all structured just a bit differently, but the small changes affect how the reader perceives the action occurring to Gregor.  The first translation places his name at the beginning, and then follows with what happens to him establishing him as the main focus of the story.  Also in this translation, the word insect seems more sophisticated or intelligent.  It sounds more scientific than using the word bug, also making me think there must be some explanation for why it happened.  I also think the word uneasy is the most vague way to describe his dreams.  It’s the least intense compared to the other translations.  Also in my opinion, gigantic is larger than giant but smaller than enormous.  This translation is periodic, as it includes reasons, or facts, leading up to the actual shocking revelation at the end of the sentence.

The second translation’s syntax is similar to the first, but has different word choices.  The word bug differs from insect because to me, it makes it seem more casual, and maybe less disgusting.  The word changed is more casual than transformed.  To me, it makes it seem more of an everyday occurrence and not something strange or rare.  Compared to the other transformations, ‘giant’ makes it seem like a smaller bug.  I think this sentence is the simplest translation compared to the other ones. 

The third translation uses ‘when’ to start the sentence, so it makes it seem more like storytelling to me.  The word troubled makes the dreams seem scarier than using the word uneasy.  The word transformed seems more scientific and formal than just saying ‘changed.’  The word enormous is larger than gigantic and giant.  Like all the other translations, the beginning of the sentence include setting details that lead up to the main action at the end of the sentence, the main focus of the rest of the story.

The last translation contains the most commas, breaking the sentence apart in separate phrases.  Also, it places the guy’s name later in the sentence compared to the other sentences.  Unlike the other translations, the description is a ‘monstrous vermin’ which makes it seem much more terrifying and dangerous.  By using the word agitated, the dreams seem more intense, scary, and more nightmarish.  It’s a more intense version than uneasy.  Also, saying upon awakening instead of awoke or woke makes the sentence more complex than the other translations.  It includes many separates phases being placed together with commas adding to the complexity of the sentence. 

   

I think the most effective translation is the fourth one.  Overall, I think it is the most intense version of the sentence.  The word choice involved adds to the scary mood that is created.  From only the first line, I’m assuming that Gregor would be terrified if he woke up as a vermin instead of a human.  The fourth translation is able to portray that emotion through its word choices and syntax.  It’s not like the second translation that makes the event seem like an ordinary occurrence.  The word choices of ‘agitated,’ ‘transformed,’ and ‘monstrous vermin’ add to the intensity of what just happened to Gregor.  Also, the use of the many commas in the sentence separates the ideas presented.  They add pauses when reading the sentence, which adds suspense leading up to the revelation of him being turned into a vermin.  The beginning of the sentence sets up the scene for what is actually going on.  The reader doesn’t know until the end of the sentence that he has been turned into something inhuman. 

This exercise allowed me to think about the difficulty of reading translated texts.  A text can be translated and interpreted many different ways, which then affects the story presented to readers.  With translations, even a small change of a certain word strongly affects the meaning of the sentence.  Some translations can be more intense and complex than others.  This means that translations can differ from what the author was originally aiming for.  The reader has to be aware of this, so that they can take into account how the story might differ from the original story.  I’m not able to understand the original first line in German, so I have to rely on the translated sentences to read Metamorphosis.  Therefore, the changes within translated texts have a significant impact on how the reader interprets the sentence and the rest of the story.